Friday, November 5, 2010

BrokeNCYDE - Will Never Die (Album Review)

BrokeNCYDE - Will Never Die
Release date: November 9, 2010 (BreakSilence Recordings/Suburban Noize Records)

Every once in a great while, a work of art is produced that is so unique, so forward-thinking, so ahead of its time and so groundbreaking that it forces you to reevaluate everything you thought you knew about a particular medium. In the world of film, for example, that game-changing work of art is Tommy Wiseau's cinematic masterpiece, The Room. When it comes to music, it might very well be the latest album from BrokeNCYDE, Will Never Die.

Let's say I asked you to make a list of the best things about music. Also, let's say you're a 15-year-old girl. Your list would probably look something like this:
  • cute boys with teased, highlighted and disheveled hairdos
  • techno beats
  • a cute boy who sings cleanly
  • naughty words
  • a cute boy who screams
  • Auto-Tune
  • cute white boys rapping
  • a slow jam
  • hilarious between-song skits
  • cute white boys playing reggae
  • references to weed, alcohol and promiscuous sex
Now what if I told you that every single one of those things is present on BrokeNCYDE's new album? You'd probably say "That sounds like a complete clusterfuck." But you'd be wrong. So, so wrong. This album is the culmination of everything that such diverse artists as Lil Wayne, Underoath, T-Pain, Avenged Sevenfold, Akon and Bullet For My Valentine have been working towards for the past decade.

This is, quite simply, a landmark release. I have little doubt that, 50 or 60 years from now, when music historians are looking back on the music that defined the early 21st century, Will Never Die will emerge as a generational touchstone, in much the same way that Nevermind defines early '90s Gen Xers and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band defines late '60s Baby Boomers. When the teenagers of today are old and gray, looking back wistfully on the "good old days" of deep-cut V-necks, skinny jeans and Scion xB's, BrokeNCYDE will most certainly be playing in the background.

This is the soundtrack to a generation. If you buy only one album this century, make it Will Never Die.


  1. You are possibly the worst reviewer ever.

    Truly disgusting.

  2. Reviewer is a scene girl. Fucking faggot. L2music.

  3. You commenters are idiots.


  4. Anonymous' united! We see the irony there ;-)

  5. Worst review in existence, worst fans in existence, worst album in existence...worst band in existence. end of discussion.

  6. .....unless this is entirely satirical and a joke..then congrats..but maybe TOO subtle...

  7. Fuck all you Haters. brokenCYDE is the fuckin bomb and kicks all other kind of music's ass. All you haters just have a bad shitty taste in music

  8. It's obviously sarcastic. There was never a point in the review where he says it's "good".

  9. brokencyde is amazing so all you haters can SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

  10. Brokencyde is amazing and I am in love with the new CD Will Never Die. I think it is full of amazing songs and I don't give a dead donkeys dick what anyone thinks, I love Brokencyde and the rumors are true...Brokencyde will never die.

  11. Stop sucking the record label's dick and give a real review. Fucking BrokeNSHIT suck and everyone knows it.
    It's a fucking joke.

  12. This review is a perfect trolling effort.

    Reeling in all the people who think he is serious, and all the brokenSHITE haters and lovers.

  13. He compared it to The Room. The worst film ever made. He obviously means this review to be a joke. I commend him for the funny ass review. Brokencyde is utter shit. Go buy a Tigers Jaw album.

  14. all of you [hater&lovers] are ignorant fucks. First off to the haters, why hate? don't look it up if you don't like it, because if you do, you probably get made fun of alot and feel smart by hating on peolle richer and better than you, and to the lovers, cool but don't fight about it? just deal with the haters and love the music. theres differt generas, who cares, some peopel like country, rap, rock, screamo, who cares...

  15. Guys... No fan of Brokencyde could write something as sophisticated as this review.

  16. Its cool to like a band. Its also acceptable to not like them. But why do you have to be a dick to the other party? Much in the same way it doesn't effect you, you don't effect them.

  17. Weird review. Granted, it was short and flowed well, but you didn't really tell us much about the music. You told us that the elements were diverse (and you named some of those elements too), but you didn't really tell us anything about what it sounds like, you just compared it. Plus, you focused a lot on how great the band is...

  18. LOL I LOVE how everyone is pissed at this guy! This review is obviously sarcasm! Ever see The Room?.. Sucks balls. Honestly, as a joke band, I love BrokeNCYDE. (Only as a joke band. Nothing else. If I took them seriously, I would shoot myself.)