Top 10 albums of 2013

Well, here we are. We made it through the first full calendar year in the wake of Ween's untimely demise, and somehow, against all odds, the music industry managed to not only survive the year 1 A.W., but actually spew out 10 albums worth ranking in a listicle-type thingy. Putting together a year-end top 10 list almost seems quaint by today's standards. In its relatively brief existence, BuzzFeed has already ranked the relative worthiness of just about every item, person or event since the dawn of civilization, up to and including BuzzFeed lists themselves. (At least they have a sense of humor about their utter disregard for journalistic standards, I guess.)

So what's the point of adding yet another list to the shit heap? Well, this happens to be my list, containing my opinions. And my opinions are important. So much so that I usually present them as unassailable fact. Ween was the greatest musical act of all time. Slayer's Reign in Blood is the best 29 consecutive minutes in the history of recorded music. See? Those are most certainly opinions, shared by relatively few others, but I know them in my heart to be true.

It's no coincidence that the people who claim that all music has equal merit and individual taste in music is subjective tend to have the shittiest taste in music. Ultimately, that's why I became a music journalist. Some music is simply superior to other music, and the world needs me (and others like me) to sort it all out for them. Therefore, it is with great pride that I perform my civic duty and unveil my list of the 10 best albums of 2013. Consider this list your definitive, one-stop shop for the best music of 2013, and feel free to leave me a note of thanks in the comments below.

Joey Bada$$ and Samy Elbanna - two teenagers who will restore your faith in music

Lost Society's Samy Elbanna and Pro Era's Joey Bada$$

I was sitting at a poker table the other day when the conversation turned to music. The guy in the 7-seat was talking about a recent debate he'd had regarding the best 10-year stretch in music history. He was pretty convinced that it was 1965-1974, and nobody was putting up much of an argument. After all, it's hard to argue with an era that includes the prime output of the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, the Rolling Stones, Stevie Wonder, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, CCR and Janis Joplin, just to name a few.

After mulling it over for a bit, I acknowledged that his decade was damn near impossible to top, but that for me, it would probably be 1986-1995. It's a span that saw thrash metal -- and, for better or worse, hair metal -- reach its creative zenith. It also includes the rise and abrupt fall of grunge and the entire "golden era" of hip-hop. Maybe names like Nirvana, Metallica, Guns N' Roses, Slayer, the Pixies, Jane's Addiction, Smashing Pumpkins, Public Enemy, N.W.A and the Beastie Boys don't quite stack up to the names above, but they're pretty goddamn close.

Not coincidentally, that also happens to be the era when music mattered the most to me. In my teens and early 20s, discovering great new music was pretty much my number one priority, and at the time, there seemed to be an abundance of it. Unfortunately, by acknowledging as much, I'm basically outing myself as one of those annoying old people who always complain about how much better music was "back in the day." I never wanted to become that guy, but what can I say? Everyone gets old eventually, and full-time jobs, mortgage payments, credit card debt and student loans -- and, if I'm being completely honest, poker and video games -- tend to take priority over seeking out cool new bands.

That said, I do still try to make a concerted effort to find awesome new music as time and life allow (and even write about it on occasion). It's probably no surprise, then, that two of my favorite new artists sound like bookends of that glorious '86-'95 era. What is surprising is that neither of them is even old enough to buy a drink.