Top 10 albums of 2014

Spoiler alert: St. Vincent is not in my Top 10. Sorry hipsters. Maybe next year.

Well, here we are. Another year in the books and another Top 10 list of albums you've probably never heard of. There are only so many directions you can go in an introduction to one of these lists, and I feel like I've already exhausted them all, so I'll try to keep it brief. If you know me at all, then you know my list is usually dominated by heavy metal, and this list is no exception.

This year, I decided to included the points I allotted each album on my ballot for this year's Village Voice Pazz + Jop poll. Voters get 100 points to distribute amongst their top 10, with no album receiving more than 30 points or less than five. The Pazz + Jop poll is a stat geek's wet dream. You can peruse voters' individual ballots or sort albums, singles and voters by a wide array of criteria. Here are a few (debatably) interesting facts about my top 10 list:

Moodie Black - Nausea (Album Review)

Moodie Black - Nausea
Release date: May 6, 2014 (Fake Four Inc.)

When I interviewed Moodie Black MC/producer/mastermind Chris Martinez more than five years ago for a Phoenix New Times music feature, he had just started referring to his noisy, distorted and occasionally chaotic brand of hip-hop as "post-rap." He soon backed away from the label, however, opting for the less grandiose but more descriptive term "noise rap." 

"It sounded like I was a pretentious prick mostly," Martinez expained when I asked him recently why he stopped using the term. "But also because the music is what it is. I'll let the masses label it."

After listening to his latest batch of songs, I'm starting to think he was right all along. Nausea is Moodie Black's first full-length release for indie hip-hop label Fake Four Inc., and the follow-up to last year's self-titled EP that initially caught the label's attention. While Nausea is still plenty noisy, it also features the kind of epic, post-rock soundscapes favored by bands like Jesu, Explosions in the Sky and Deafheaven.

Top 10 albums of 2013

Well, here we are. We made it through the first full calendar year in the wake of Ween's untimely demise, and somehow, against all odds, the music industry managed to not only survive the year 1 A.W., but actually spew out 10 albums worth ranking in a listicle-type thingy. Putting together a year-end top 10 list almost seems quaint by today's standards. In its relatively brief existence, BuzzFeed has already ranked the relative worthiness of just about every item, person or event since the dawn of civilization, up to and including BuzzFeed lists themselves. (At least they have a sense of humor about their utter disregard for journalistic standards, I guess.)

So what's the point of adding yet another list to the shit heap? Well, this happens to be my list, containing my opinions. And my opinions are important. So much so that I usually present them as unassailable fact. Ween was the greatest musical act of all time. Slayer's Reign in Blood is the best 29 consecutive minutes in the history of recorded music. See? Those are most certainly opinions, shared by relatively few others, but I know them in my heart to be true.

It's no coincidence that the people who claim that all music has equal merit and individual taste in music is subjective tend to have the shittiest taste in music. Ultimately, that's why I became a music journalist. Some music is simply superior to other music, and the world needs me (and others like me) to sort it all out for them. Therefore, it is with great pride that I perform my civic duty and unveil my list of the 10 best albums of 2013. Consider this list your definitive, one-stop shop for the best music of 2013, and feel free to leave me a note of thanks in the comments below.