Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Heavy metal band name quiz: How many of these logos can you read?

Anal Cunt circa 2008
Over the years, heavy metal has produced some of the greatest band names in the history of music. From the unsettling (Dying Fetus, Cattle Decapitation) to the blasphemous (Rotting Christ, Deicide) to the gleefully profane (Anal Cunt), heavy metal has a long history of fantastic band names.

During a recent excursion down the good ol' information superhighway, I was fortunate enough to stumble across a company called Brutal Disorder Logos. From what I can gather, this guy is an artist who lives in Mexico and designs heavy metal band logos for the low, low price of only $30. On his MySpace page, he has an extensive gallery of work he's done for bands the world over. He's actually pretty good at what he does (so much so that I'm somewhat tempted to plunk down 30 bones to see what he comes up with for Tempe Carnivore), but what makes this so fantastic is some of the incredibly awesome band names.

I've picked out a few of my favorites to share with you all. Let's see how well you do at reading heavy metal band logos.  Below are 10 logos that should get progressively harder to discern. Write down your answers and then tally up your score. Answers and scoring key are at the bottom (no fair peeking)...

Number 1:

Number 2:

Number 3:

Number 4:

Number 5:

Number 6:

Number 7:

Number 8:

Number 9:

Number 10:

Scroll down for the answers...

Keep scrolling.....

And here are the answers:

1. Coathanger Abortion

2. Meth Tooth

3. Whore Grinder

4. Church Burner

5. Razor Wire Colonoscopy

6. Clit Amputation

7. Anal Autopsy

8. Fecal Vomit

9. Rotten Pork

10. Autopsy of a Burial Beneath the Black Bloated Massacre's Blackened Bloody Gore

Scoring key:

0: You listen to Nickelback.

1: You might have a black T-shirt or two in your closet.

2-3: You know what "throwing the horns" means.

4-5: You own at least one metal album on colored, 180 gram vinyl.

6-7: You've sacrificed a goat to Satan.

8-9: You've sacrificed a human baby to Ishnigarrab.

10: Congratulations! You play in AOABBTBBMBBG!

For a treasure trove of hundreds of hilarious heavy metal band names or to order a logo for your heavy metal band, visit Brutal Disorder Logos at their website and/or MySpace page. >>>WARNING! - both pages have music playing in the background that I was unable to turn off.  If you're at work and want to jump directly to the logo gallery (minus the music), click here.


  1. Wow! Your results were dead on. I only got three right. I'm ok with that. And Meth Tooth is an amazing name and something I'm going to start calling people.


  2. I got all of them right and I'm 12. O_O... My friends parents can go to hell. They don't want me hanging around their kids because I listen to the following genres: Metal, Thrash Metal, Speed Metal, Grind, Gore Grind, Grind Core, Black Metal, Satanic Metal, Satanic Black Metal, Satanic Death Metal, Death Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Blackened Death Metal, Blackened Melodic Death Metal, Death Core, Break Down, Heavy Metal, Old School Metal, Metal Core, Hardcore, Satanic Speed Metal, Satanic Thrash Metal, Avant Garde Metal, Celtic Metal, Doom Metal, Death Grind, Death Industrial, Doom Core, Drone Metal, Emo, Emo Metal, Emo Core, Extreme Metal, Folk Metal, Funk Metal, Glam Metal, Gothic Metal, Grunge Metal, Groove Metal, Hardcore Metal, Industrial Death Metal, Industrial Metal, Jazz Metal, Melodic Black Metal, Melodic Hardcore, Melodic Metal Core, Metallic Hardcore, National Socialist Black Metal, Neo Classical Metal, Nu Metal, Pagan Metal, P- Funk, Post- Hardcore, Post- Metal, Power Metal, Video Game Metal, Progressive Metal, Sludge Metal, Garbage Metal, Stoner Metal, Symphonic Black Metal, Symphonic Melodic Black Metal, Symphonic Death Metal, Symphonic Melodic Death Metal, Symphonic Metal, Technical Black Metal, Technical Metal, Technical Death Metal, Techno Metal, Thrash Core, Siberian Black Metal, Viking Black Metal, Swedish Viking Black Metal, Siberian Death Metal, Viking Death Metal, Swedish Viking Death Metal, Hate Metal, and Hate Core. - Chris...

  3. Chris,
    I just now saw your comment. Thanks so much for the free SEO!