Monday, August 16, 2010

3?aK Episode 30: Buzz Osborne (Melvins)

Back in 2007, when I was the music writer for College Times, Kip Winger blew me off for an interview because he was on “vocal lockdown.” I didn’t want to see the questions I’d prepared go to waste, so for the next year, I asked everyone I interviewed if they’d be willing to get into character and answer the following “Three Questions as Kip.”

If you're new to 3?aK and want a more detailed history of how this project came to be, click here.

OK, now that you're up to speed, let's get on with the show. Playing the role of Kip Winger for this installment of 3?aK will be Buzz "King Buzzo" Osborne of the Melvins.

3?aK Episode 30: Buzz Osborne (Melvins)

1. We've already seen disco and '80s synth pop make comebacks. Do you think a hair metal renaissance is right around the corner?

It better be, because I’ve got a huge mortgage. And I just got divorced. I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna make these child support payments without a resurgence. Hair metal’s comin’ back, man. I guarantee it.

2. Can you let our readers in on your secret to maintaining the perfect 5 o'clock shadow?

Just never shave. Actually, mine’s fake. I had them installed. I had all of them removed and then little tiny fake ones installed so it looks like I never shave. Plus, it seems relatively obvious that I am gay, and so I’m trying to make it where the 5 o’clock shadow makes it look like I’m at least a little masculine.

3. What have you been up to for the last 15 years?

I’ve been doing huge stacks of blow for 15 years and then wondering why my career fell apart.

Go to Episode 31.

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